Parenting Teenagers

We don’t get a lot of encouragement to build a stable and happy family life, but when I look around that seems to be the one thing missing from a lot of people’s lives.  Leading a simple lifestyle has help create balance and time in my life to spend with the people I love and to continue to build relationships that are important to me.  With three teenagers it is a challenge to stay connected, set boundaries and also give them independence built on trust.  I’m finding the teenage years demanding on an emotional and physical level.  Being “mum’s taxi service” is a great way to have chatting time with my children.  Having strong consistent boundaries around my teenagers is a necessary part in guiding them through this time in their lives.  My aim is to produce three independent, well-adjusted and capable individuals. Here are a few of my household rules for teenagers:

·         We all need to show respect towards each other

·         They are responsible for keeping their own bedrooms in order, (otherwise they live in a pigsty)

·         They need to put they own dirty washing in the laundry, (otherwise it won’t get washed)

·         They all have set household jobs (eg. Folding washing, mowing lawns, vacuuming, packing dishwasher)

·         They must have a casual job from age 14-15

·         They must save 50% of their income towards their future and purchase of their first car

·         They must finance their own mobile phones

·         When getting their driver’s license, I pay for the first test, then if they fail they need to pay

·         Once they are 18 years old, they need to pay board and do their own washing

I see it as my responsibility to make sure these rules are kept.  I encourage and help them achieve these goals.  I’m always praising them and letting them know they are valued and appreciated.  Of course sometimes things don’t always go to plan, and its two steps forward followed by one step backwards.  As long as they are making progress and developing living skills, personal boundaries and a good self-esteem that’s what’s important.  I try to spend some time with each child individually and make it special.  Be it coffee at a café and listen to what is going on for them, this helps to stay connected.  We also have family time together to maintain a sense of belonging.  I think parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, but the most rewarding.